oh dang. totally forgot about this. i really think ill star writing in it again.

so much has happened since the last post. i was reading, and i realised how much ive grown since then. senior year did me alot of good lemme tell ya. just a few months ago i was lost and confused and had no idea how i would ever possibly leave high school, now im like BRING ON COLLEGE ! its exciting. and yes, i did decide to major in dance. i know im going to get my butt kicked but its so worth it. oh gosh and that guy. wow. daniel. sigh. as much as that kids broke my heart, im glad i went through it. hes seriously a great guy, he just needs to grow up some. but i dunno, me and him. wow. that was a rollercoaster towards the end for sure. hes probably the closest ive come to loving any guy. and yah, it hurt like heck when he decided to go out with one of my good friends, but what can you do. i guess it was a bit of a learning experience.

so an update. i graduated with an honors diploma. go me ! probably one of the greatest feelings in my life.

summers been awesome. i wish i had a car though. but other then that its been great. turning 18, hanging out with some people i never thought id seriously be hanging out with, but they turned out to be some of the greatest people ever. i love you kayte and erick ! and tom too of course XD

so i got myself a new job. starbucks at the rio. its great ! the first job ive actualyl seriously liked. i mean yah, working full time is a pain, and making drinks for 8 hours gets a little old, but its a fun job and makes hecka bank ! lol. im slowly becoming an adult, i love it. my parents actually let me stay out as late as i want. its good stuff for sure.

so i miss my brother. alot. i wish he would just flippin move back in already. the fact that hes leaving for boot camp in september and then things will never be the same after that makes me want to cry. my twin brothers leaving me, and theres nothing i can no. i wont see him often at all. but goodness i love that kid. hes my other half.

well i think im pretty much caught up. minus the drama that happened through out senior year. but we can save that for a time when i feel like getting into it. tomorrow, UNLV with lisa and brittni, those girls are great. should be a fun day.

peace out kids.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!

haha wow. first competition ever. friday was the PFT comp, we lost. but its alright. theyve been working since summer, and we've only been working for three weeks. HAHA. but i must say, we did pretty freakin good for only three weeks. we SMOKED them in the run, and i got 1st place 300 yd shuttle for females. XD woot go meeee. but push ups and sit ups they beat us. but not my too much. excpet that one girl.. dang. 140 sit ups and 120 push ups or something like that? but i also ran against her and kicked her butt. ahaha. oh yea, and the hang and pullups. we were pretty close with that one, i held on the longest for the females on eldorados side. felt pretty good, since that was the first time ive ever even tried the hang. "alyssa, i dont know what im supposed to do ! wait, where do my hands go?" ahaha. but it was tight. then about 12 of us squished into alyssas car and went to mcdonalds and ate for free. something like 60 dollars worth of free mcdonalds. lol. it was tight. then me, mariana, amber, subreena, and jake stayed the night at jakes house for the drill meet on saterday morning. it was good stuff. our armed won first place, and our color guard team two won first place, and unarmed won second. i cant believe chap beat our unarmed. seriously though. if only we didnt mess up reg so bad. but its seriously alright. really good learning experience. now we know what NOT to do. XD we have another competition in about 10 days at eldorado against DP. wooo, so todays my last day at panera bread. SO EXCITED. i feel like slacking off all day, just because i know its my last day and what are they going to do? fire me? big deal. lol. i start at aeropostale on wednesday, and my first ACTUAL day is on friday, yes, BLACK FRIDAY. 3pm till 12 am. this should be interesting. :] i really should be getting ready for work now..i think ill go in late, get something to eat, then start. hahaah. i know, im mean. but seriously, im so excited, after 10 months at that place, im finally done. yeyaaaa. oh. and him. yea. told him. well, he told me, then i told him. it was cute. lol. ahhh. thats all i got for now.

man. ive been having mixed emotions about everything. does that sound emo? haha oh well. i dont know. ive jsut been thinking alot. i think its because of the fact that in a year im going to be out of high school and in college. im totally not ready for that. at all. i have no idea what im going to do. i know what i WANT to do, but its hard. i WANT to study dance, and become a dance teacher, but i get intimidated so easily, i feel like if i go to college and study dance im going to get eaten alive. i realised that i put myself down WAY to much. i should stop that. i also realised that im way to nice. but not nice enough to be walked all over, just nice where like i always feel bad for people and put everyone before myself, when really im like ok what the heck, i need some me time. lol. man. i seriously cant wait till i go to texas. gosh. i NEED to see megan.

man, so tomorrow is the veterans day parade. it should be interesting. its going to be my first actual parade with rotc, so it should be neat. oooh, yea, i got promoted yesterday. lol. senior chief petty officer mckenzie. haah tight tight. XD i dunno. i love rotc. i wish i could join the navy so bad. that kind of gos back to the whole "i put eveyrone before myself" thing. my mom doesnt want me to join, so, im not. gosh. how stupid is that. but whatever. oh, and i decided im not going to tell him how i feel. itd be pointless. hes too caught up on someone else, so im not even going to bother. but its ok. man. i love my dance team. even though were not very close this year, but i dunno. i hope everything will turn out better by the end of the year. hopefulyl we do go to compitition for dance. oh man thatd be awesome. since i missed last years comp because of rotc. but theres no way ill miss it this year.
ahh
why is it that writing in this stupid thing makes me feel better. lol. i want chipotle.

oh goodness. where to start. i dont think ive ever been so stressed or clueless in my whole life. these past two weeks have been something else. boys suck. seriously. they mess up everything. make you feel all wierd and stuff. goodness. im just done with it. rotc is really stressing me out. why the heck does jacob have to be so freakin stubborn? thinking everything revolves around mdt. i mean dont get me wrong, i definitly want to win, for sure, but like, i have a life too. i have work, and dance team, and shoot, school even, and his little extra practices and being at school a whole hour earlier then we need to be, like, ok. come on now. theres only so much i can handle. living about 20 minutes away from my school doesnt help either. gah. i just dont know. pfts good though. im pushing myself alot more, and realising i cuold do things that i didnt think i could. like running. i can actually make it all the way around the track with out stopping ! haa i know, almost every one can, but my breathing problem pretty much puts a damper on things. but i think its getting better. and those darn shin splits. since freshman year. gosh. man. im a senior now. thats freakin crazy. i havent even taken my acts yet. I HAVENT EVEN REGISTERED FOR THEM YET. good lord. i need to. procrastinations a bad bad thing. i think i'll make a list. 1st, i will tell him how i feel. 2nd, ill register for those gosh darn acts, and 3rd, well..i dont quite know what 3 is yet. but im sure ill find one withint the next day or so. bieng promoted to senior chief today was really cool. completly unexpected too. i really like rotc. alot. but gosh it makes me crazy sometimes. oh well. thats life i guess. i need to dance. i think i'll go that now.